Detroit Lions Create Epic Failure of a Calendar

There are some things that are hard to say for an absolute certainty. Then there are others--like my assessment of the Detroit Lions 2013 calendar--that are easier than making a fat kid happy (any food that is not considered 'healthy' usually does the trick).

Worst. Calendar. Ever.

I dig the Lions; I really do. It is painfully clear that whomever was in charge of this calendar is either not a football fan (hence their lack of familiarity with the team's stars) or is a real slacker and didn't proof the final copy before it went to print.

I'll forgive the fact that it doesn't feature any cheerleaders. They were clearly going for a player thing; why, I don't know. I'd think  cheerleaders would sell better than dudes.

The cover alone would be enough. Soon to be former wide receiver Titus Young is featured on it. If you are unfamiliar with him, he was recently told to stay away from the team after he lined up wrong during a game on purpose (apparently he was unhappy with his role and thought tanking the team was the way to go). He was allowed back, but has since been placed on the IR for a knee injury; one that head coach Jim Schwartz doubts he'll show up to get fixed (for the scheduled surgery).

Why on Earth would you not put Mathew Stafford or Calvin Johnson on the cover anyway? Where else do the team's most recognizable stars belong?

Neither star is even the first month; that honor went to someone that is no longer on the team--former DB Aaron Berry. Y'all remember him right? If memory serves, the day (or at least the weekend) where he got a sweetheart of a deal on his drunk driving charge he got busted for pulling a gun on a few guys (as Charlie Sheen would say--winner!).

Berry is now on the Jets after getting cut by the team in July. July people; this is a 2013 calendar.

It gets better. A disappointing Kyle Vanden Bosch is featured on month. Running back Jahvid Best--who hasn't played in over a full season (his last concussion came on October 16, 2011) and will likely never play again.

I can live with Nate Burleson being in there since he at least had a solid 2011, but the man broke his leg a long time ago. There was time to find  someone else.

As if the exclusion of the cheerleaders and inclusion of guys that don't play for the team was not enough, they included the 2012 NFL and Detroit schedule (for a 2013 calendar) as well as the team's Super Bowl history; because fans want to be reminded that the team has never been to the Big Game.

If this were a joke it would be kind of funny. Sadly, this is the real deal. The only way someone doesn't lose a job here is if the owner of the printing company is Bears or Packers fan.

(Good find PFT)