The "big game" is the buzz about town. I heard that three prominent celebrities were shopping where I work today; in town for the game. My brother's favorite team is playing Sunday. The Empire State Building, visible on my walk to the subway every day, is lit with the colors of the two teams vying for the Lombardi Trophy.
The hype is tangible, but after spending two hours with the latest edition of the thoughtful PBS documentary show, Frontline, I know the way I watch the game of football has been further altered in a personally perplexing way.
My ignorance of the violence of the game of football started to fade dramatically after reading J.R. Moehringer's beautifully written ESPN The Magazine article from September 3, 2012 - "Football is dead. Long Live Football." [http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/page/Mag15footballisdead/jr-moehringer-120-reasons-why-football-last-forever-espn-magazine].
I cannot recommend that article enough. It helps explain America's fascination with football while also bringing to light the grim reality of the toll the game takes on its players.
Before I had finished that article, I knew that my reaction to seeing hard hits on the gridiron would now be one of fear and angst instead of awe and bravado. Moehringer's words had forever changed how I viewed the game of football.
Tonight, the echoes of those words have been joined by a host of new voices courtesy of PBS and Frontline and a group of reporters, doctors, and NFL Players. I guess the veil of ignorance was only slightly lifted by that magazine article as I felt shell-shocked by what I saw tonight on Frontline.
The game of football is far more dangerous than any of us can imagine and I am struggling with my reaction to the program, the story, and how I will watch football after tonight.
While I digest what I have seen and figure out my own feelings as a fan, I know that millions of Americans will spend approximately four hours of their Sunday watching the Super Bowl. I encourage all football fans to spend two extra hours with the game this week and watch and listen to the PBS program on their computers, tablets or TV [http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/league-of-denial/].
Tonight I do not think I will abandon football. I do not think I will stop watching. I do not think I will stop being a fan. Right now, I do not know how I feel; only how I reacted.
After the program, before writing this essay, the first thing I did was to send an email to a dear friend and former Navy shipmate and his wife with a link to the PBS program. They have four boys and two of them play youth football.
As confused and off balance I am about the game of football tonight, one thought was crystal clear: I hope my friend's beloved boys will not play football again.
--Todd Vorenkamp
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